Me and ADHD get along so good

even though it breaks my brain so bad

We got a special thing going on
Me and AD, ADHD¹

---

I was thirty minutes into a 45-minute session with my psychiatrist this time last year when he stopped me mid-sentence.

"I've heard enough."

All my life, I thought the way my brain worked was normal. Forgetting things the moment I walked through a doorway. Jumping chaotically from topic to topic. Bursting to interrupt conversations because if I didn't spit my thoughts out right then and there, poof… they’re gone!

The diagnosis came back: Inattentive ADHD.

Two simple words in an uber expensive, 5-page assessment report. Two words to describe a lifetime of confusion. Two words that finally gave me something to anchor myself to, even as they unleashed a tidal wave of anger and grief I wasn't prepared for.

Finding out there was a reason my brain does the things it does, that I'm not broken, just differently wired, should have been purely liberating.

But it wasn't.

The anger, grief, and shame about what my life could, would and should have been... it overwhelmed any happiness about finally knowing the truth. If only I'd been diagnosed as a teenager, I would be so much further in my career by now. I'd be earning more money. I wouldn't be stuck in a comparison trap with neurotypical peers who effortlessly accomplish what I struggle to even begin.

How do I move past these feelings? A year on, I still don't have the answers. But I’ve come to realise that my neurodivergence is tangled up with being first-gen, African Australian, a woman in white-collar spaces.

This is why I'm launching ‘A Brain Like Mine’ - a fortnightly(ish) newsletter to share my Afro-neurospicy perspectives on a world built for neither. A place where all my interests and passions coexist, just like they do in my brain. A space where I can discuss privacy, responsible AI, mental health, neurodiversity, board governance, space and whatever else catches my attention.

I hope you'll follow along on this journey. There will be rants. There will be deep dives. There will definitely be posts that start with one topic and end with another. If you're curious about what it's like to navigate the world with a brain like mine, this space is for you.

See you in a fortnight.

---

Hello there, I’m Farxiya, a Somali Aussie who’s trying to make sense of her brain, one post at a time. You can follow me here on Substack or Bluesky (where I made an account but barely post. Don’t hold it against me, the interest pendulum will swing back soon enough).

1. Title inspired by Mary J. Blige’s Mr Wrong.